Say Love - Hilary Weeks

For 2014 it is a goal to 'say love' maybe not using airplanes, but something once a week. To whomever, a stranger, a friend, family member. Let us all 'say love' more often. How much happier the world will be!

Here is to having a year 53 times happier!

Baking Soda Miracles

B.S. Paste

 Miracle #1: Cleaning Stove Top Burners

I have had issues with my burners for several weeks now. I think I made the mistake of cleaning them with a disinfecting. Every time I used a burner the whole house would smell of this awful chemical stench. Instead of the smell of a yummy meal when my hubby got home he could tell I cooked by these awful smell in the air. It was awful and it gave me a migraine Every time I cooked.





I finally did something about it. First I made some simple baking soda paste. Baking soda + water and mix.

Next I plastered the paste on each of the burners. Front and back. Unfortunately for me my burners couldn't be removed from the stove, but if you can do so I would highly recommend it. It will make the process much easier in the long run. Just be careful not to get any of the electrical area wet.

Then I Waited.... letting it sit for a good 20 minutes.

Front.

Back.

After 20 minutes.

Can you see the discoloration?

----------------------------------------------------->

Gross!!

I then placed paper towels under each burner to catch the water.( After going through several paper towels I went to using rags instead. )

Then I took my scrubber that had Dawn dish soap and scrubbed at the burners. Trying to remove all gunk and paste.





After scrubbing off what I could. I then took a rag and water and washed off the rest of the paste.

This part took the most time as you need to be careful about the amount of water used in this project.

Once stove is completely dry it was good as new.
Yeah!



Miracle #2: Removing urine smell in bathroom.

One of the unpleasant trees of renting in an apartment is that you have no control over how the person before you lived. I like to imagine that it was a little boy learning how to use the bathroom and that's why our bathroom always seemed to smell of urine even after I have cleaned it on a regular basis.

So I decided to use the same Baking Soda Paste I used to clean our to and tackled our toilet, floor and walls near the toilet.

Make sure to use some gloves while doing this project. It can get pretty nasty.

I hope you can see I caked on the paste in every nook and cranny.

 Even the bottom, back, sides, and front. Where ever I thought that a splash could reach.

 Though I don't have a picture of it. I also got the walls and cabinet next to the toilet as well.



Once again I let it sit. This time I waited 45 minutes, though you probably only have to wait 20 for more minor smells. Since I felt like I was walking into a boys locker room every time I got ready in the morning. I decided to wait it out a while longer.

Next I took a scrubber (a different scrubber then the one used in the kitchen; which I threw out afterwards.) I put dish soap and added Clorox bleach in it as well.

I scrubbed.


And


Scrubbed.

See all the fun bubbles.:) I like seeing bubbles makes me feel like its working.

The last steps are simple. Finish cleaning as you would any other time you had cleaned the toilet. I used wipes since I don't like rewashing rags once they have touched the toilet. I guess I'm a little OCD that way.

I also hand mopped the floor with wipes.

Once the floor dried. I then swept up any remaining baking soda that was left behind. Brought out my mop and mopped the whole floor again.

I wasn't good about taking a before and after picture,sorry,
but I promise you..
that
toilet
has
never
looked so white.

The best part is...NO more stinky bathroom. Wahoo!

31 Things

Today. I turned 31. 

Wow! How can I be so Old already!?

I pictured my life to be different then what it is today. 

Choose not to go in the details, wanting to think positively today so I've decided to do something about where my future is going.

In honor of my 31st birthday today I am making 31 goals for this coming year. Some will be fun, some hard, but in the end on my 32nd birthday I want to look back and be able to see that I have moved forward and am progressing in life.

Here it goes. (In no particular order.)

1- I recently got a keyboard and am teaching myself how to play. I would like to learn how to play 'the rose' and comfortable enough to play it in front of others, even if it's just to Jake one day.

2- Go camping. I've lived in Oregon for two years now, it's gorgeous here and I still haven't been camping. which has always been something that I've loved doing in the past. So go camping, we will probably have to borrow almost everything to do so, but I wanna get away with my hubby and sleep on the hard ground, sit around the camp fire, make smores, and use our dutch over. Yum!

3- I joined a book club two months ago. A new/hard thing for me which I've been slacking on a bit. My goal is to read each book and go to every event. I enjoy reading, but this will definitely get me out of my comfort zone and help me meet and make new friends.

4- Walk/Run a 5k. My goal is September for the Color Run. I have a couple herniated disc in my low back. So the goal is to walk/run without any pain by then. :) Means lots of hours at the pool and strength training.

5- Grow my hair out. Now I know this may seem silly, but I get so frustrated with my hair, because I lack the creativity to have fun with my hair. I tend to chop it. I've always wanted the long flowing curls and straight hair. I have to at least try it this year. If I hate it, then I can always chop it again right. So here is to only trims and taking my vitamins to help it grow thicker. :)

6- Make one sewing project. I haven't sewn since junior high and I think I only did a pillow. I have recently inherited an old machine and I really want to learn how. I'm sure I will be challenging my patience and my perfectionist personality, but it will be fun right.

7- Move forward on a career path. I'm not sure yet what it is, so I can't define exactly what the goal is, but either going back to school, or finding a job I want to excel in and make into a career or maybe start my own small business making things. My goal is to research the possibilities, choose, and start towards whatever it maybe.

8- Read Jesus the Christ. Jake got if for me about a year ago, and I've been awful and barely opened it. That WILL change. 

9- Learn to dance to the 'thriller'. The night Jake and I met we were supposed to be taught this very dance at the activity we were at, but there was some kind of miss communication or something and it never happened. It was the biggest reason why I went to that single's activity. I'm grateful I went of course, but always wished I had learned. It just sounds like fun, right. :)

10- Pay off debt. I recently paid off my little car that I've had now for um...about 4 years now. It felt Awesome! Being debt free would be Fabulous! Wont happen this year, but we will pinch our pennies and pay off as much as possible.

11- Make/get 72 hour kits for Jake and I. Make and emergency plan with Jake, just in case.

12- Work on the Young Woman's Personal Progress. When I graduated young woman's when I was 18. I completed all the work, but didn't get it to my Bishop and leaders on time. Therefore I didn't get my medallion and though I can just go buy one now, I would really like to do the program again. I will do at least the first year of the beehive program this year.

13- See Multnomah Falls when it's winter, snowy, and all ice. It's gotta be beautiful.

14- Join a support group for those who suffer/have suffered PPD/A. Right now I feel strong enough to be able to help those who are struggling and help them realize there is light at the end of the tunnel. If telling one person my story and experience will help them find hope it will be worth it.

15- Organize our craft/office room. Since moving in a couple months ago our extra room has become more like a storage area instead of a craft/office room. I so want that to change and I have a couple of ideas to make it seems more warm and homey too.

16- Read the Book of Mormon with Jake each night and praying as a couple. We do this already, well sort of. We try. I want it to become a habit. One of those habits that you can't not do. Like going to church every week. 

17- Make a picture book of my pictures I have a my boys when I had them. One that I can keep and cherish and one I can give each of the boys one day. Right now I have them in a box and they are a little unorganized. 

18- Remember to be thankful. Be polite. I was taught as a child to say 'thank you', 'please', help the elderly, open doors, but sometimes I find myself realizing afterwards that I didn't take that opportunity. 

19- Stop comparing. I swear nothing takes away my self esteem or happiness quicker than when I look at someone else and see all their achievements and see only my weaknesses. I will try to catch myself when I do and remind myself of this and compliment myself for how far I've come, or an achievement I have made.

20- Learn to do something Jake loves to do. I'm not sure what that is yet, but when I do. I will have him teach me and enjoy watching his enthusiasm.

21- Write on at least one of my blogs once a week. I have a family only, this, personal blogs. It can be easy to not document whats going on in my life, but I want to keep it up and have a journal.

22- Have my older posts on my blogs made into a book.

23- Work on our genealogy. I have much to learn and have just began to get acquainted with the website. I have yet to learn how to find ancestors. That is hope to find ancestors and learn about them.

24- Join a sports team. Even if it's just for church. I used to love team sports and I still do, I think. I want to see if I can find some of that ol' me again.

25- Find a professional team for me. To help secure a better healthier future. I've always hated going to the Dr. but I will go to the dr and get a pap smear UGH! and a yearly physical at least.

26- Kiss my hubby in the rain. I've always wanted to do this, but have yet done it. This year is the year. Lots of chances in Oregon. :)

27- Get to know my neighbors better. Right now all we do is say hello and maybe smile. I think learning their names and the names of their children would be a great start right. ;) Maybe I could even bribe with some treats or something.

28- Write the missionaries at least once a month. I have a couple of 'my girl's' that are out on missions who are converts and so their families don't quite understand and maybe a little upset that they left for a year and a half without having little more than email/letters. I want to be a better support for them and the other missionaries I know serving.

29- Make and extra effort to thank Jake for all that he does for me. Some days I take for granted all that he does for me. I really want to change that. I want him to know I'm grateful and that I love him. I don't want him ever to doubt or be frustrated with me because he didn't understand that.

30-  Better Communication. With whomever it is in my life, family, spouse, friends, boss', neighbors, even strangers. I need to be more willing to open my mouth and express myself. I am going to talk to one knew person each week, or express an emotion/feeling that I feel uncomfortable sharing, telling those I love that I love them and doing more things for them.

31- Live in the now. I will never get this year back again. So I will challenge myself to stay in the now whether it's ugly or beautiful. Feel and live the now, do the best I can in the moment and then choose to move forward for the next moment in time.

To a FABULOUS 31st year!

Little Poette's B-day!

My adorable niece turned one on April 15th.

I can't believe she is one already.

She is tiny. Though that seems to be a common theme in the Seward family. 

I think it's fun they stay small for so long.

They are just adorable when they are so little.

Her momma Sabrina did a fabulous job with the party.

Amazing elephant cake made by Sabrina

Yummy lunch!

Cute booty.

Cousin Kimi (age 5) made Poette a birthday card. Awe!

 Dance party. Kimi and 'Lexa

Birthday girl Poette and her momma Sabrina

It was such a blast to watch her open gifts. She did really good for how young she is. :) Christmas will be a hoot.

Jake and I watching all the fun.

Weekend Fun

We went up to Mom and Dad Seward's for Easter/ Blake's birthday party.

It was fun, even with Jake and I being sickos.

While we were watching a little march madness I was crocheting.

I'm making a baby blanket.

For whom?

Good question. I'll get back to that later.

Anyways I was putting the blanket back in the bag

so I could get up and do something..I can't recall what, but

the crochet hook slipped out of the blanket bouncing onto Jake's 

arm and then into the couch.

As I was doing whatever...Jake looked for it.

Couldn't find it.

It turned into this.

 and this...

 and this.

 until finally

they found it.

 Thank goodness. Haha! It was great and so nice of them to look so hard for it for me.

Oh, yeah. The blanket is for someone I most likely don't know, nor will I ever know.

Our Relief Society (church women group) is doing a big service project this month and one of the items they want is baby blankets for the

St. Vincent hospital for the babies who don't make it. 

This particular project has special meaning to me because my sister in law isn't able to carry her babies full term. She lost her first after only 15 precious minutes.

Thankfully because of the amazing care at St. Vincents she now has two adorable little kids that survived being born around 24-26 weeks. 

8 questions

I saw these questions on another blog that I follow and thought it would be fun to answer them.

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?

Lets see in 2003.
I got hitched. (Weird to think about.) Biggest mistake of my life. So glad that part of my life is in the past.

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list?

Organize front room, enough so that when my visiting teachers come they wont trip over the boxes that are still every where.

Grocery shopping for a few things. Want to start a cleansing tomorrow.

Buy a pillow. (Besides our old bed having mold I had black stuff on my pillow as well. Most likely it was only mascara, but I was too freaked out to chance it. I've been using a blanket as a pillow for the past 2 weeks. I'm officially sick of the neck/shoulder aches and pains from lack of support.)

Continue working on baby chevron blanket I'm crocheting for St. Vincent's hospital. 

Walk on treadmill for 10 minutes and then ice my back.

3. What are 5 snacks I enjoy?

craisins, but they have to be the pomegranate juice infused ones. Yummo!

maple bars (they are my weakness)

cold watermelon

snickers

red vines

4. Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire

The possibilities...

Adopt 

Become like Emily Gilmore. Not the personality, but the donating and helping tons of different causes.

Travel

5. Name some of the places you've lived.
  
Utah, Arizona, Oregon.

6. Name some bad habits you have.

lazy eating

getting everywhere 'mormon' standard time

fidgeting

7. Name some jobs you've had.

mowing grandma's lawns.Some may say it wasn't a job. probably not, but I wish I could go back to that job. I thought as I mowed gave me time to think about whatever and I miss my Grandma Buck something fers and wish I could sit down in her kitchen cooling off by drinking some black cherry Shasta, playing Pollyanna, and listening to Grandma's wisdom and feel her love again.

8. What are some childhood memories.

Playing night games with the other neighborhood kids.

Pillow fights with my little sister.

Car rides to tumbling with Jan singing her goofy songs.

My brother scaring me by doing donuts in the church parking lot.

Coaching my lil' sis softball team.

 
 
Now it's your turn. :)
 

 

   

Our New Apt.

Sorry if my voice sounds funky. I have a head cold.

We are officially out of our old apartment.

Turned in our keys on Monday.

Hip Hip Hooray!

We had a little bit of move in drama.

When we took the cover off of our bed this is the 

nastiness we found.

YUCKY MOLD!! The dangerous kind. :(

Mom and Dad S were so kind to come back up to our apartment the next day after helping us move the day before to pick up this unusable hunk of junk to burn for us.

Plus they were so so thoughtful to pick up a fancy air mattress at Costco for us so

that we wouldn't have to sleep on the floor again. 

So thankful for them and the rest of our family that came to help us out.

It would have taken us forever to do it on our own. 

Jake had to leave during most of the moving for work so we are truly so thankful.

We are slowly starting to get settled in. I've been proud of myself for how much

I have been able to unpack already. My back is being kind. :)

On a happier note. Here is Jake starting our first fire. 

I have to admit I was really excited that the weather was bad enough to warrant needing to heat our apartment. 

P.S. I'm over the needing to heat my apartment. I'm ready for sunshine and spring. :)

Moving...

Jake and I have been having problems with our apartment complex from day one of when Jake moved in. (I moved in after we were married a few weeks later.)

Then on the first of this month we got a notice saying that they were raising our rent. Jake and I were shocked that they would really do that after all the lack of repairs and issues that we had been dealing with. To top it off we had already knew that all the neighbors right around us were already paying $50 LESS than we were. We decided that if we were going to pay more we were going to move to a better place. So that very day we put in our 30 day notice.

Today we applied and were accepted at this great place. I am very excited. It's beautiful! A little higher on the price range then we were planning, but thankfully we got a great deal. The 2 bedroom because of the market right now was the same price at the 1 bedroom. So we got a 2nd room, not planned but loved the idea. Now Jake has a seperate room to do his school work without me distracting him so much, and we will also be making it into a craft room for me as well.

Plus if the 2 instead of 1 wasn't enough we also now have a wood burning fireplace. Finally a way to keep the house dryer during the winter. Yeah! No mold issues. (While packing today, we had to throw out a dresser because of the mold, ugg!)

Three words.. Heated indoor pool. Yuppy!
I am so looking forward to getting my back better, so I can start working and exercising again.
Jake and I have a 5k we are doing in September. :)

I usually hate the whole moving process, all the packing and cleaning, but moving to this apartment will be amazing!

Bring it on! Moving next weekend. :)

I'll post pictures of the new place soon.

Valentine's Day Fun

My hard working hubby had to work ALL day today.

He left at 7am and wont be home till about 11pm.

Yucky!

Well since I didn't really get to spend time with him

I decided to surprise him with a heartattack.

(This is a good kinda heartattack)

 

I pulled out some scrapbook paper.

Started folding them in half and started cutting.

Easy peasy. The way I like it. :)

 

 

Then I wrote little sayings on some of the bigger hearts.

'you are my everything.'

'you + me = true love'

'143!' (means I love you in nerd)

'together forever'

 

 

I think you get the idea.

I also decided to make a post it heart as well.

I wrote on each post it reasons why I love him

and then placed them together in a heart shaped.

 

 

Then once his last class started I snuck into his car and taped each

heart to the windows. I decided since I'm in Oregon that I had

better keep the hearts inside if I wanted the to be dry

when he finally came outside again.

I hope they stay sticked on the window as it gets colder

or it will definitely be a failed

heart attack attempt.

 

Hope he likes it! 

Do You Know that I Love YOU!?

Is there anyone is your life that you Love, but aren't sure they know?

I do.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my two little boys. It's been 5 years now since I've got be in the same room with them. Everyday I grieve for the loss of my little ones. There is always a part of the grieving process that I go through that is the same. What PPD took from me! Now that I am doing well once again, not the 'normal' that I once knew before those dark days, but my new normal the hardship of not being able to be with and see my boys grow up is so much harder.
I am doing well enough now that I could be a mother to them like they deserve. Not perfect like I'd want of course, but there really finally THERE in the moment.
I finally have a husband who would want to be a part of Every part of their lives, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I would be able to enjoy all the precious moments.
I would be grateful to be experiencing the hard ones as well. Not because they are enjoyable in the moment but having that moment meant that I was their mommy again and that would be worth it all.
I would have someone to lean on a give me the support that I needed.
The boys would also have that love and support that they needed as well from a loving, gentle, caring father.

I was told by almost everyone I knew that I would regret the day that I gave my boys up for adoption, but I have to say that even though I am finally in a place where I feel I could finally be there for my boys I don't regret the decision.
I knew than and I still know now that getting my children out of the unstable, harmful situation that they were in was the best thing for them.
If I had let them stay with my ex husband and his family, the abuse that they would have had to endure would have broke my heart even more than knowing I can't seem them.
Don't think I haven't thought of....but if they were with my ex than maybe I'd still see them again. And now that I'm stable and have a good husband who would support me that maybe I could get full custody of them once more.
I believe that would have been FAR more damaging to my boys.
I am grateful to know, that they were in a safe place. I knew that they were loved and cared for by people that I trust and love.
I do regret however that the adoption is closed. Meaning that I am unable to contact them, and they me.
Granted as much as I want to hold them in my arms once more that is not the main reason why I regret that it is a closed adoption. I feel and believe that no communication at all is harder for my boys in the long run.
I know in my heart that they have questions that only I can answer.
There are misunderstanding that only I can clear up. Though I hope and trust that their adoptive parents are trying to help them see that I love them with all my heart and only want them to be happy and healthy, my boys I'm afraid will NEVER understand or come to grips with being adopted and having mommy sick until I am able to sit down with them and tell them myself that I LOVE them, that I still WANT them. That I wish everyday that I could still be THERE with them.
I may never have that chance until they are old enough to seek me out on their own. I pray that they will and that it wont be too late.

So if I went through the Exact same experience again, that is the one thing that I would change. A more open 'ending' so that there could be a closure to the hurt and questions and there wouldn't be time wasted on them believing that their mother didn't love them or want them.

I LOVE CADEN!
and yes HYRUM I LOVE YOU TOO! (I only say it this way because I got sick after having Hyrum and I'm not sure, but I fear that he may think he is to blame in some way. I hope beyond hope that he does Not. Also, its taken me to get better to really be able to understand and feel the love that I do have for that little man. I do not regret having him. I know he is precious and that he is spreading love and happiness to everyone that he meets. He is as dear to me as Caden is, I just know him a little less is all.)

If you are able to....tell those whom you love that you love them and why. Life is too precious and short to not express such a powerful, beautiful feeling. It is a gift, share it.

For now this is the best that I can do for my little studmuffins.

This being said. I want my family and especially my little sis and her sweet husband to know how grateful I am for their love and support towards Caden and Hyrum. I am grateful they are loved and cared for by you. I know you are doing a Excellent Job! I am not writing this post to make you feel bad about having a closed adoption. I am just trying to be honest about how I feel. I understand that I am not with them and therefore do not know how they are doing or what fears and questions they may still have. I trust you and your judgement towards what is best for Caden and Hyrum and your family. I hope you know that. I love you all! Thank you for being there when I could not/cant!

Decisions....Decisions

From itty bitty to Life Changing making decisions for me can be Painful.

To make matters a little more fun and challenging I married into the Seward Clan. I love them with all my heart don't get me wrong, but if they have a weakness it's making decisions. What to eat, what to watch on tv, what game to play, where to meet, where to go, I think you get the idea.

Well my sweet Jake inherited this inability to decide, so when you put the two of us together try to plan or do anything... take a long, LONG time.

Which lets be honest can drive anyone a little batty.

 

As some of you know my computer crashed awhile back and well being on the internet somedays is my life line to communicating to those I know and love. Cell service in my apt. is a hit a miss experience for us, so not have a computer at home while Jake has been at work all day hasn't been fun for me. So we are now in the market of trying to find an affordable, but still good quality computer. All I can say is that I'm grateful at least that Jake enjoys electronics so 'shopping' isn't so bad.... now if only we could decide.

On a postive note...it does give us more time to save up. :)

 

How do you make decisions in your life?

Healthy Chicken Taco Salad Recipe

So I found this on pinterest but the blog that the pin was from no longer exists....so here is my tried recipe. My picky hubby even loved it. :) Score!

Healthy Chicken Taco Salad

Serves 6-8 

2 chicken breast

1 can black beans (drained)

1 can corn (drained)

1 bag 50/50 mix lettuce and spinach( or whatever your family likes)

1/4 cup fresh cilantro ( I love cilantro, so if your not a huge fan I would cut it in half.)

1/2 lrg green pepper, diced

1/2 bundle green onions, diced

3-4 roma tomatoes, diced

1-2 sm avacados, chopped

16 oz plain greek yogurt

1 pkg ranch seasoning

1 pkg taco seasoning

Tortilla Chips

Boil chicken and shred.Mix veges, beans, and chicken in lrg bowl.

 In sm bowl mix seasonings with yogurt.

 Mix all together in lrg bowl. Serve with chips.

Jake liked it as a dip, but to help limit my chips I chose to crumble chips on the top.

So yummy! Enjoy!

Utah Trip for Ra's Wedding

Jake and I was so excited to get to come home for

Ra and Mitch's big day. 

It was our first chance at being in a sealing

since we were sealed 7 months ago.

I was hoping I would be able to remember some of the

things the sealer said this time. Haha! 

Oh well, that's why I have Jake to help me remember

the important things. :)

On our way. We left at 5:49am and arrived at mom and dad's at 6:23pm. Long day, but so glad we got to make the trip during the day.

Ra getting all purdy!

Wish you could see mom and dad's faces better.

Can you see Ra's gray sweats?!

I believe this is one of the Thacker grandma's.

Elise and Vellis in the Joseph Smith building waiting until the Bride and Groom show up so we can eat. 

View from the luncheon

Friend of the Thacker family played after we were finished eating. It was beautiful!

 The wedding was beautiful. So happy for Ra and Mitch.

After the crazy blizzard on Thursday night and Friday we were thinking that we would

have to split our driving in two days. Though there was some really, really

nasty roads our prayers were answered and we got home safely that same day.

On our way home again.